February 2012
32 posts
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Bok bok
I don’t even like dogs, but last night I stayed up all night looking at pictures of dogs and reading about them and trying to decide what dogs I would want if I liked dogs and got one (answer: either this or this but maybe even also this). I even thought about calling a local shelter but then I realized it was 3am and that I hate dogs they don’t do anything and I don’t like...
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“God loves flags. And he loves American flags, Andy. Why else would he have made...”
– John Oliver is the best. http://thebuglepodcast.com/?p=189
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“He’s a black flag anarchist, man. He wants to tear the system down from the inside.”
My brother, trying to explain why his dog, Moe, keeps trying to knock over household objects.
He is a german shepherd, though. Maybe he’s a member of the Baader-Meinhof gang?
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The 4am Report
It’s 4am Mountain Time and I’m currently listening to the CBC’s overnight radio broadcast which is apparently some guy arguing with a Dutch guy about the financial collapse and I’m making food that consists of sad pasta (microwavable spaghetti-Os still in the metal can), toast and Mexican beer.
When this is done I’m going back to my room to watch the last of Downton...
I mean, obviously I’m not jealous of the oppression and lack of personal liberties, but I am kind of jealous that Muslim women can walk around in public all day without anyone having to see their faces. Also they sometimes look like ninjas and I want that. For me.
The most interesting man in the world, dead at 74 →
For all its bravura, Mr. Fairfax’s seafaring almost pales beside his earlier ventures. Footloose and handsome, he was a flesh-and-blood character out of Graham Greene, with more than a dash of Hemingway and Ian Fleming shaken in.
At 9, he settled a dispute with a pistol. At 13, he lit out for the Amazon jungle.
At 20, he attempted suicide-by-jaguar.
My favourite parts:
At 13, in thrall...
Buttface
Next Thanksgiving I’m going to be thankful for anatomy. I mean, yes, the human body is disgusting and there is that old joke about how even a city planner isn’t stupid enough to put the sewer and the playground together but it could be so much worse. Imagine you woke up tomorrow and your butt and your mouth were switched. Gross, right? Eating would be weird as fuck and your nose and...
I want the Rad Mapper to be my cartography name.
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Petition to stop Steampunk
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Food
I’m learning how to cook real people food and it’s kind of awesome. I just finished eating roast beef with mashed potatoes, yorkshire pudding and gravy. My stomach feels like it’s going to burst from awesome but that’s okay because it’ll mean I can eat my supper again as I wait for the paramedics to show up.
Dishes I can make like a bau5:
Spicy, spicy chili
Pulled...
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Actually, this explains a lot about how my sense of humour developed.
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These were the funniest things when I was in grade five.
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So it turns out spies used to live in my apartment building and the RCMP spied on them and they were spies and it was espionage.
Back in 1995, clear evidence of such cat-and-mouse spy games in Halifax was unearthed when a window in a 21st floor apartment of the Welsford apartment complex was replaced, exposing a listening device with wires travelling up toward the penthouse offices of the...
Acquaintance: [telling me about their family.] Me: that’s fascinating. Acquaintance: oh okay, I can tell when I’m boring someone. Me: I was being sincere. I could listen to people talk about themselves for hours. Acquaintance: … really? Me: yeah, I just have poor communication skills.
I’ve crossed the line where even I don’t know when I’m being...
Friend: I don’t even get why Garfield hates Mondays. He’s a cat. He doesn’t have a job.
Me: you know, I’ve been thinking about this. Garfield doesn’t have a job, but presumably Jon does. And Garfield, being a particularly grouchy cat, is unable to admit that he loves and needs and wants Jon, who is away on Mondays for work. So instead of showing his affection to Jon,...
These paintings by Tim Doyle are pretty amazing.
He also has ones for Sesame Street, The Sopranos and The Simpsons, but these are my favourites.
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Archer just did an episode about Canada
and it featured a “Nova Scotian Separatist” terrorist organization.
I know it’s kind of cliche but I’m definitely one of those Canadians who gets the weirdest boner when pop culture acknowledges our geography.
It was pretty awesome. There was an ocelot and they fought on top of a train. You can’t ask for much more than that.
“Sorry to cut into your doughnut...
the brand review: of the top 10 rejected titles... →
thebrandreview:
When the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation produces its own mini-series they take it pretty seriously. That’s why they literally spend dozens of dollars researching titles.
Case in point? Keep Your Head Up, Kid: The Don Cherry Story:
A fancy title like that? It doesn’t come cheap, boy, I tell ya. Here is a list of some of the rejected working titles the CBC spent dozens upon...
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WTF?
Just started hyperventilating while reading some random Wikipedia pages.
That wasn’t as fun as it sounds.
What if I decided to just start writing everything like a poorly written junior high essay?
In conclusion, I think that would be hilarious.
January 2012
68 posts
Of course, this is the definitive Jurassic Park... →
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Please get your cancerous baby off my Facebook.
It’s a bit unsettling. Also, I’m pretty sure that’s a stock photo, so it’s probably dead by now anyway.
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In between seasons of Mad Men, Jon Hamm plays a version of himself between seasons of Mad Men.
Things that creep me out.
My brother and I decided to make a list of things that are spooky. This is what we came up with:
Grey Aliens. Especially that old Alien autopsy video. Spooky.
Fish parasites or parasites that effect the behaviour of an animal.
Numbers stations.
Fish flopping around on land.
Hitler or Osama bin Laden crouching outside your bedroom window holding a knife in his teeth staring at you.
Fish in...
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As punishment for being named this week’s “fail”, Benny is given a daunting task: turn a former CFL Quarterback into a smooth, media savvy spokesperson. — this week on Truth Inc.
CBC is doing a radio drama about life at “real PR firms” and it’s so bad. I’d actually rather listen to another half hour of Q.
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I’m flipping through the book of Mormon because it was the only way to get them off my goddamn back.
The book doesn’t even have new book smell, it smells like paint. Which makes me wonder if it’s drugged.
Also I learned that when a Mormon dies he goes to the “telestial kingdom”. It’s called that because Joseph Smith knew the word terrestrial but wasn’t...
